A Message From A Mom On Mother’s Day

A Mother’s Love

There are times when only a mother’s love 
Can understand our tears, 
Can soothe our disappoints 
And calm all of our fears.

There are times when only a mother’s love 
Can share the joy we feel 
When something we’ve dreamed about 
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a mother’s faith 
Can help us on life’s way 
And inspire in us the confidence 
We need from day to day.

For a mother’s heart and a mother’s faith 
And a mother’s steadfast love 
Were fashioned by the angels 
And sent from God above.

–Author Unknown

Inspirational Mom Of The Day

SHARON MCBRAYER | Hickory Daily Record 
Published: May 13, 2012

Hickory is home to America’s top mom

Lorrie Wolfe to receive gifts, college scholarship

HICKORY, NC —

At one point, Lorrie Wolfe and her children were sleeping on the floor of a tiny unfurnished apartment.

She would lock herself in the bathroom and cry. She even considered returning to the abusive spouse she fled.

Then, she found her way to the Salvation Army.

Wolfe was chosen this week from 15,000 nominees as “America’s Most Inspirational Mom” by Kimberly-Clark and Boys & Girls Clubs of America .

Sitting in the computer lab of the Salvation Army’s Boys & Girls Club, Wolfe is still emotional about the honor.

“I’ve been crying for days,” Wolfe said. “I guess I still don’t believe it.”

It wasn’t just a title she won. Wolfe also gets a four-year scholarship to the University of Phoenix, a year’s supply of Kimberly-Clark Corporation products such as toilet paper and paper towels, a new laptop computer and a backpack full of school supplies.

She met basketball star Shaquille O’Neal’s mother Lucille O’Neal and was interviewed by Fox News, Essence magazine, Redbook magazine, Houston Chronicle and the Los Angles Times.

Another highlight of Wolfe’s trip to Atlanta on Monday and Tuesday was staying at a fancy hotel. She raved about the hotel’s tub and shower, saying she was torn between which one she wanted to use. She opted for a long soak in the tub, which was the first time she’s had that luxury in a long time.

With three children and a full-time job, it’s hard for Wolfe to find time for herself.

Wolfe, 41, is single mom to Thomas, 14, Christopher, 11 and Angeleah, 8.

On Wednesday, Angeleah said her mom is the best because, “She loves and cares for us and she helps us a lot.”

“Even when we make a mess, we know she still loves us,” Angeleah added.

Christopher stayed close to his mom on Wednesday at the Boys & Girls Club and keeps a sharp eye on her.

Christopher is not shy about why he thinks his mom is the best and how the family struggled when he was younger.

“You feed us every night. You’re the reason we have a roof over our head and clothes on our back,” Christopher said as he looked at his mom. Tears sprang to his eyes as he expressed his appreciation. Looking at her son, the tears started to fall from Wolfe’s eyes, too.

How she would feed, clothe and shelter her children weighed heavily on her mind seven years ago when Wolfe escaped an abusive spouse with her children in tow.

Times were so tough that at one point she thought she might have to return to her abuser.

Wolfe and her children found a small apartment, where the two boys would share a room and her daughter would share her room.

The only problem was the family had no furniture, so they all slept on a pallet of blankets on the living room floor. There were times she would lock herself in the bathroom and cry.

Wolfe eventually found her way to the Salvation Army in Hickory.

“This place really saved our lives,” Wolfe said.

The Salvation Army gave Wolfe food for her family and assistance to keep her water and power on. Someone anonymously donated Wolfe a car. And they eventually got some furniture.

The Salvation Army also gave Wolfe a career and gave the family a spiritual life.

She started out part-time with the Christian organization and worked her way up. Now she’s a full-time employee and the project coordinator for a gang prevention program for three counties — Catawba, Burke and Caldwell. She conducts workshops for parents, teachers and churches.

Wolfe also started a mentoring program to match up kids in the Boys & Girls Club with adult mentors. Her own children are in the program.

“The people that I help, I know what they’re going through,” Wolfe said.

She’s not just mom to her own children, she claims 138 others — those who are part of the club.

Salvation Army Capt. Mike Harris said the America’s Most Inspirational Mom award highlights the real heroes across the country.

“Lorrie has always been an inspirational mother to us,” Harris said of Wolfe. “We’re very, very proud of Lorrie.”

Harris said he’s never seen Wolfe lose her cool with her children, even though several require a lot of attention.

Harris said Wolfe doesn’t just tell her children to go do something; she jumps in there and tries new things with them. He said she started learning a new musical instrument when her Christopher started lessons.

As busy as she is, Wolfe is always looking for self-improvement, Harris said.

The full scholarship to the University of Phoenix will be another journey of self-improvement for Wolfe. She plans to use the scholarship to earn an undergraduate degree in criminal justice with a concentration in human services. All her classes will be online, which will allow her to still work full-time and be available for her children.

Wolfe always dreamed of going to college. Now she can.

Wolfe was a military brat whose family finally settled in Lenoir. She graduated from West Caldwell High School and was named Miss West Caldwell High School in 1989. She says her childhood was “phenomenal.”

“I don’t care how much sleep I have to lose, they’re going to have that same, if not better, childhood that I had,” Wolfe said.

Each child is involved in different activities, ranging from school programs to sports and music. And Wolfe is there cheering them on, nearly always the loudest parent in the crowd. Christopher says matter-of-factly that his mom’s enthusiasm is sometimes embarrassing.

The love between Wolfe and her children is evident.

Wolfe, like many moms, serves as maid, chef, chauffeur, nurse, coach, accountant and landscaper. If moms got paid, she said, she would be rich.

But they don’t.

“I know a lot of phenomenal moms and I wish I could split it with them,” Wolfe said of the award.

According to Ross Jacobs, public relations director for Boys & Girls Clubs of America, University of Phoenix scholarships have an estimated average value between $30,000 and $70,000 per scholarship. The scholarship provided to Wolfe will cover a bachelor’s level. The scholarship covers full tuition and fees, including textbooks.

 

Inspiration Of An Aging Mom

Apr 20, 2012 2:57pm

 

Aging Moms Prefer Daughter to Hubby, Study Finds

 

Debby calls her 26-year-old daughter Beth three times a day –  and might add a few daily texts on top of that.

Mother and daughter, both of whom live in Denver, are close, much more so than when Beth was a teenager.

“We talk about health, work, food, shopping – just touching base,” said Debby, 60, who was shy about using her last name.  “I am just checking to see if she’s alive.”

A study published this week in the journal of Scientific Reports, suggests that as women age, they shift their focus of intimacy from their husbands to adult daughters — even as their husbands continue to retain their wives as their closest confidantes.

Researchers from Britain’s Oxford University and Boston’s Northeastern University did an analysis of two billion cell phone calls and a half billion text messages from a mobile telephone carrier in a European country over a seven-month period. The contact most frequently called was considered the “best friend.”

The study said that in early adulthood, men and women focus most on their romantic partner. With women, that continues until about age 27.  But when they reach their 40s, they shift attention away from the spouse to the daughter. And that relationship strengthens over time, peaking at about age 60.

 

Men, at least in their cell phone communication, stick with a female best friend — presumably their wives, according to the study. They call their sons and daughters equally.

Researchers suggest that the shift in communication may be biologically driven as women in their childbearing years move closer to motherhood. Debby agrees.

 

“It’s a natural progression of things,” she said. “Also, I think it’s a way of teaching her things — how to view the world, knowing she is coming closer to my shoes. She’s more like a friend.”

But her daughter Beth views the relationship differently, and Debby admits that she might consider her a “helicopter parent.”

Beverly Hills psychoanalyst Fran Walfish said that while she appreciates “warm and close” families, when the lives of mothers and daughters become too intertwined, it can signal trouble in the husband-wife relationship.

“I am wondering if the women who were looked at in this study, they turn to their daughter because the relationships and communication with their husbands had decreased and fallen off track as they aged.”

The “main requirement” for a healthy coupling is that the male and female “create or establish a reasonable separation from their family of origin,” said Walfish, author of the 2010 book, “Self-Aware Parent.”

“The new husband is first, front and center,” she said. “What that means is the mental space that is taken up in one’s mind of who we think about has to be husband first, then, children, then parent.”

Adolescents need to separate to enter the world as adults, according to Walfish. “It’s necessary to create the bricks and mortar of the foundation of the couple and the foundation of a new family.”

 

Walfish said she has seen a rise in the number of couples in their 20s, 30s and 40s coming in for counseling because of “mother-in-law problems” … ” I never get the complaint about fathers-in-laws.”

 

She agrees that biology may drive aging mothers closer to their daughters, especially as they become grandparents. “That’s a positive and wonderful thing,” she said. “But if reasonable boundaries aren’t created, it can be poison or toxic.”

Mothers like Debby say that constant calling and texting their daughter has nothing to do with their love of their husbands.

“She’s much more interesting than he is,” she says. “And I like her opinion on things.”

Moms Making A Difference

Posted by Raj Shah on October 21, 2011

Moms Making a Difference

On Monday afternoon, I’ll head over to the White House to meet with the ONE Moms, along with Dr. Jill Biden and National Security Council Senior Director Gayle Smith.

If you haven’t heard of the ONE Moms, you should definitely learn more about them: a group of more than 12,000 women helping to lead a movement of change around the world to end poverty.

The group of ONE Moms we will be meeting with on Monday recently returned from a trip to Kenya where they met with African mothers living through the worst drought the world has seen in 60 years.  I’m sure the trip was an incredibly powerful experience for them, as similar trips have been for Dr. Biden, Gayle and me.

When visiting the refugee camps in Kenya, you begin to truly understand just how devastating the current crisis is in the Horn of Africa truly is, especially for women and children. Right now, more than 13.3 million people—greater than the populations of New York City and Los Angeles combined—are in crisis.

Even sadder is the reality that crises like these don’t have to occur. We have the technology and tools to make sure droughts don’t lead to this scale of human suffering. Through President Obama’s Feed the Future initiative, we are helping countries transform their own agricultural systems to grow enough to feed their own people.

I look forward to hearing about their experiences in Kenya and we hope they’ll share it with you. We want everyone in America to understand the gravity of the current situation in the Horn and how they can help. That’s also why USAID, in partnership with the Ad Council, has launched the FWD Campaign, to raise awareness about the crisis.

I’m particularly excited to preview an exciting announcement for the One Mom’s that USAID and the Ad Council will formally rollout on Wednesday. Be sure to visit www.usaid.gov/FWD on Wednesday to see what we have in store.