Women’s News: Work Stress: How Brandy Johnson’s Health Scare Forced Her To Dramatically Rethink Her Life

Women’s News: Work Stress: How Brandy Johnson’s Health Scare Forced Her To Dramatically Rethink Her Life

A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

Women’s News: Three Little Words You Should NEVER Say on a First Date

Women’s News: Three Little Words You Should NEVER Say on a First Date

Women’s News: Three Little Words You Should NEVER Say on a First Date

 

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Debbie Burgin

Divorce coach and author, ‘The Joy of Ex’

Divorced or not, dating can be a daunting prospect in any circumstance. But there’s one thing in particular that screams “RUN” that you should probably be aware of.

There are three little words that no woman (or man) wants to hear on the first date. (Besides the obvious three little words.)

When someone first said these three little words to me, I think I was more surprised than anything else. But the second, third, and fourth time it happened, it was just creepy.

What ARE these three little words?

“I Googled You.”
On more than one occasion, someone has told me on a first (and last) date, “So! I Googled you! And you’ve been busy!” Ick.

I get it. You’re curious. We’re all curious. But telling someone that you Googled them on the first date gives them that icky creepy feeling that makes them want to run home and take a shower in bleach. Don’t get me wrong, we all do it. We’re curious about who this person is that we’re about to have drinks or “break bread” with. We want to make damned sure that we’re not about to rope ourselves into spending 2+ hours with freak of the century, so we do a little “research.” No harm. No foul. It’s almost a given in 2013. But don’t TELL them that you Googled them!

Telling someone that you Googled them on a first date, makes them feel as though you went out of your way to read through their private diary, and at the first meeting, have information about them that they didn’t personally give you. Don’t get me wrong, I DO realize that what I post here and Lord knows where else online is accessible to any and everyone who dares to read it. Telling me that you’ve read it on say… the third or fourth date — okay. By then I expect that you would have. But on the first date? Too much. Totally creepy. Wait ’til I’m certain that you’re NOT an ax-murdering stalker to tell me that you did that. At that point, no problem. But right out of the gate? Nope. Bye.

I recently had a man with whom I’d spoken very briefly, but had never been on a date with, and who didn’t even KNOW my last name, use what tiny (and I do mean tiny) bit of information he did have on me, to find me online, and creep my LinkedIn profile (on LinkedIn, you can sometimes see who looked at your profile). Being able to see that he did it, is just as bad as having him actually tell me that he did it. To make matters worse, the fact that he only had my first name and a very vague idea of my occupation to go by, TOTALLY freaked me. Do I even need to tell you that I’ll NEVER go out with him?

Ladies AND Gentlemen; don’t TELL someone that you Googled them, or researched them online on the first date. I don’t care how well you think you’re getting along. I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m saying don’t tell them. It’s creepy.

Peace. xo

Read More:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-burgin/three-little-words-you-sh_b_3436318.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

 

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Women’s News: Work Stress: How Brandy Johnson’s Health Scare Forced Her To Dramatically Rethink Her Life

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The Huffington Post  |  By 

After bouncing through a few sales and ad jobs right out of college, Brandy Johnson, now 31, settled into a role she loved, helping a fast-growing advertising company land big-name accounts like Toyota and Lexus. But the late nights, long hours and strain of trying to move up the ladder wore her down, and while she was still in her 20s, she went completely bald. As part of our series of interviews with 20- and 30something women who’ve made bold choices in order to live with less stress, Brandy opens up about the health scare that made her rethink her path.

I got promoted within the first eight months of getting hired: I was an account manager, then an account supervisor at 26. The company was opening new offices, and it was an exciting time, but my hours were crazy. There were times when I was at the office until two in the morning. That wasn’t typical, but those were the expected hours during high season — you could just sort of forget about October, November and December. There were no limits, especially because I was single and younger. They knew I didn’t have to get home for a family. And it didn’t matter how late you were there, you still had to start the next day around 8:30.

I felt like maybe I had peaked too soon, so I talked to my supervisors about moving into a sales role. I wanted to make a move that wasn’t lateral, and there was more opportunity in sales. I was trying to make this transition at the same time that [there was a lot of] restructuring in the company, and I wasn’t able to do it. That, along with the long hours and trying to date in L.A. — it was getting crazy.

I was in Chicago for a sales conference, and I remember being in the hotel room and seeing that my hairline looked weird. I thought maybe I was just having a bad hair day. When I got home, I had a quarter-sized hole in the back of my head. I went into panic mode. I was seeing this guy, who is now my husband, and we were spending a lot of time together, so I was like, “You need to just look at this. Am I crazy? What do you see?” Within a week, I went to the doctor who told me I have Alopecia. It’s a genetic condition, but it doesn’t necessarily manifest until stress triggers it.

My doctor asked if I had gone through a traumatic event recently or if anything had changed in my life. I said, “No, but it’s been pretty stressful at work.” I had been thinking, “If I don’t get this promotion, I’m going to quit.” That may not seem like a big deal, but I felt like I had helped build the company, and I thought I would be there forever. I don’t know if it was the stress I’d felt struggling so hard to find the right fit at work and then the fear of leaving that made me go bald, but it was definitely a huge contributing factor.

Within a month of going to the doctor, I went to speak to my manager. I said, “Look. I don’t know what needs to happen here, but I’m overwhelmed. I’m losing my hair.” He didn’t know how to react. He just looked kind of dumbfounded, because at that time it wasn’t obvious yet. I was still able to maneuver my hair so no one could tell. Maybe they just thought it was in my head. My manager said, “I know you want to move into this new position. Are you saying you can’t put those hours in to get there anymore?” Ultimately, nothing changed.

Read More:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/14/work-stress-health-scare-brandy-johnson_n_3435249.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

 

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