A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

205630_528992130455291_1702402358_n

A Woman’s Story: How I Learned To Drink With Men

A Woman’s Story: How I Learned To Drink With Men

A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

NeverGiveUpOnWhatYouReallyWantToDo

A Woman’s Story: How I Learned To Drink With Men

woman alone at barThat first evening at Good World, aside from Mariana, the sweet, stunning, splendidly tattooed bartender, I was the only woman at the bar. There was a lot of catching up to do, since I hadn’t seen most of that crew in ages. The one or two drinks I planned to have after work turned into four or five, and I left around eight, agreeably buzzed as I got back on the F train. It had felt like a homecoming. It had been a good evening. I was happy to be seen, and to see.

Within just a few weeks, I was there about every other night. I became a regular so quickly, so effortlessly, it felt like I was filling a space that had been left open for me. But more than any other bar where I’d spent lots of time, Good World felt actively, powerfully, predominantly male. More than any-where else, my femaleness stood out. “It’s so nice to have a woman at the bar,” Mariana said to me one evening, and one of the guys, who was sitting on the next stool, agreed.

I launched a campaign of sorts. One night, I asked my friend Alexandra to meet me there for a drink. She liked the place. Two evenings later, my friend Dina joined me. She liked it, too. The following weekend, I was sitting at the bar with another girlfriend. She, too, liked the place, the bartender, the lightness of the conversation, the ease with which everyone greeted everyone else, the uncomplicated fellowship.

But no matter how much any of my female friends enjoyed themselves at Good World, and they all did, none — not a one — seemed to have any desire to return the next night, or the next, or the next. Regularhood — the thing that interested me most, the thing I had craved and missed, the singular condition of bar culture that confers both comfort and privilege — held out to them no metaphysical allure, no sense of necessity. And this, I realized, set me apart as a woman who loves bars: the need to be known, to have a place of one’s own, a place I could call my bar. Of course it was not my bar, not literally; it had owners; it was a business. But as a regular, one feels a sense of ownership; one is invested, if not financially, then in every other possible way.

Read More:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosie-schaap/how-i-learned-to-drink-wi_b_2551406.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

Women’s News: Why I Go Red in February

headshot

Women are being targeted. We are falling prey to a silent enemy. An enemy most of us didn’t even know we had. But it has its sights set on us. And in 2010, it was set on me.

I was horrified to learn that I had fluid around my heart. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but after what you can imagine was a myriad of tests, I was told that I needed open-heart surgery to save my heart and my life. Not what I was expecting to hear. And just like that, heart disease had gotten to me.

I know what you’re thinking, “she was over 300 pounds.” I was. But I had lost over 150 pounds several years earlier. I changed my lifestyle and diet too. Yet heart disease still found its way to me.

Most of us hear heart disease and we think of old white men. The ones sitting back after a steak and potato dinner. And we couldn’t be more mistaken. Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women, affecting more than 43 million women in the U.S. And even more chilling, heart disease results in death for one in three women each year. These are our mothers, our sisters, our daughters and our friends … ourselves.

I was lucky (more like blessed!) because I found out in time. And I had support. That support gave me the courage to fight through it. Six days after my surgery, I left the hospital feeling like I had been given another chance. I knew that the road to recovery would be long and grueling… but there was that support still pushing me through. It strengthened me. It made me a fighter. That’s when I realized what I needed to do – my purpose was clear. I needed to be that support for other women, as many women as I could reach. I wanted to raise awareness and make progress towards prevention. So for the past few years, I’ve served as the National Volunteer for the American Heart Association (AHA). The AHA’s Go Red for Womenmovement was created for such purpose. In the past 10 years, women have been fighting heart disease together and with Go Red For Women, and more than 627,000 women’s lives have been saved. Nothing makes me happier than meeting fellow survivors. We’re heart sisters who’ve battled heart disease, and their courage inspires me to keep up the fight against this No. 1 killer.

National Wear Red Day is February 1. But I wear red every day in February because it is that important. When I see my fellow heart sisters dressed in red, I see women rallying together against this killer. Some of them may have lost weight, while others may have just started exercising or eating healthier. Some may have stopped smoking, and others might have just talked to their doctors about developing a heart health plan. They know what’s out there, what could happen to them. When they Go Red, they’re making a statement. When we all Go Red together and stand together, we can create change.

 

And so this is my outlet. My way to connect and empower other women. It is very dear to my heart, in more ways than one. I learned late in life that my health is my greatest asset. Heart health has become my mission in life and my hope for tomorrow. But I couldn’t have fought heart disease alone. Join me and let’s make sure no woman will. For she who has health… has hope; and she who has hope… has everything.

In recognition of the 10th Annual National Wear Red Day on February 1, 2013, Go Red For Women asks that women across America Go Red in new and bold ways. Let’s turn America red to shine a spotlight on heart disease in women.

This post is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and the American Heart Association in recognition of Wear Red Day, the aim of which is to raise awareness that heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women. To read all the stories in the series, click here.

Star Jones, attorney, author and TV personality, is best known to television viewers for her candor, confidence and uncanny ability to explain legal and social issues. Her knowledge of the law and talent for television has won her critical acclaim as a news and legal correspondent and co-host of NBC Today Show’s Today’s Professionals. Star is a heart disease survivor and American Heart Association National Volunteer, as well as National Spokesperson for the National Association of Professional Women.

A Message From The Creator

A Message From The Creator

Women & Politics: Why Aren’t Women Voting for Women?

Women & Politics: Why Aren’t Women Voting for Women?

Women & Politics: Why Aren’t Women Voting for Women?

headshot

Dr. Peggy Drexler

Author, research psychologist and gender scholar

Many reports still show that female voters remain reluctant to vote for a woman. In an AP analysis of data from the 2006 American National Election Study Pilot Test, researchers found that when it came to selecting a candidate for president, gender matters more for women than for men. And that while women are more likely to vote for a candidate because she is female, they are also more likely to dismiss her for that very same reason.

Back in August, the ever-charming Fox News suggested this was because women voters “want a Daddy figure.” Others point to a resistance against feminism, and a sense that women are themselves holding fast to the paternalistic view that they are not as good as men. Sherrye Henry wrote The Deep Divide after her own unsuccessful bid for a New York senate seat. In it, she argues that women won’t support female political candidates because of the disparity between what women believe and their willingness to act on those beliefs — the “deep divide.” That is, women say they want equality, but do they really?

The truth is that double standards still exist between women and men in positions of power, and female candidates are often asked to be not only as qualified and appealing as their male counterparts, but far more so. Tiffany Dufu, president of the White House Project, a nonprofit organization committed to increasing female leadership in politics and elsewhere, has said that female voters are indeed tougher on female candidates and that, in fact, “any individual who does not fit the leadership status quo — a man, and usually a privileged, white one has to meet a higher bar.” The same divergent expectations for women versus men show up in other fields, such as medicine, where a male surgeon may be the preferred choice unless, of course, his female counterpart graduated the top of her Ivy League class, has an impeccable track record and selective patient list, and is otherwise unimpeachable.

Women, still judge other women — simply put, continue to be judged against the standards initiated and maintained by men. And because many women therefore know quite well what it’s like to feel judged, they then turn that judgment back on one another. Women are notoriously harsh towards other women, especially in the professional sense. According to a recent study by the Workplace Bullying Institute, women bully other women at work — verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority, and destroying of relationships — more than 70 percent of the time. Another study by Business Environment found 72 percent of women judged female coworkers based on what they wore to the office.

None of this is helped by Hollywood, which continues to perpetuate the notion of the “career” (ever hear of the “career” man) woman as a bitchy, unwomanly, Prada-wearing devil. Many of these movies, marketed largely to women, depict powerful women as, at best, something to be wary of, and at worst, something to disdain. Women want to like their female candidates. In the voting booths, do they want to support the tough, demanding boss lady they’d never invite over for dinner? Or the nurturing, motherly softy who’d get creamed on the Senate floor? Can a woman ever be both? Can she be neither? Unfortunately it’s been hard to convince voters that women aren’t necessarily one or the other: good at their jobs or likable.

Of course, women’s resistance to female candidates could also be owing to how she looks. It’s pointless to argue that looks don’t matter. In her groundbreaking 1999 book, Survival of the Prettiest, Harvard Medical School psychologist Nancy Etcoff argued that good-looking people get better jobs, are better paid, and have an easier time in life. Evolutionarily speaking, pretty people win. Science confirms this as it relates to politics: A 2006 study from the University of Helsinki looked at the role of beauty in politics and found that the better-looking the candidate, the more competent, trustworthy, and likeable he or she was perceived to be.

The study also looked at male candidates, but again, the stakes are higher for women, who are judged if they’re unattractive and then judged if they do something about it. Just look at Nancy Pelosi: Bright-eyed in her early 70s, the “glamorous grandma” — as the press have dubbed her in articles that continue to focus nearly as much on her face as on her politics — has endured ridicule for preternaturally dewy skin and eyebrows that seem ever on the rise. Oh, and that she wears too much makeup. Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, has hair watchdogs monitoring her every straightening. She is one of the most accomplished politicians of the century, but her choice of hair accessories — scrunchie or headband? –is still hotly debated. Her longtime hair stylist even got a book deal.

The good news is that Americans — men and women — are becoming more conditioned to the notion of female power, from the victories of Election 2012 to the Pentagon’s recently-lifted ban on women in combat. With every move toward equality, women in charge will no longer be seen as an aberration, a fluke, rarities to be examined and analyzed like specimens.

Read More:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/why-arent-women-voting-fo_b_2556788.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

%d bloggers like this: