A Message From The Creator

“Every event in life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it is bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.” – Deepak Chopra

Ladies, have you ever been in a situation where you were feeling trapped.

When you feel “stuck,” the first thing you want to do is struggle.  Flailing about, throwing your weight around, trying harder and harder, pushing against the resistance you feel.  Only these things don’t get you unstuck.  In fact, they tend to make you sink deeper into whatever problem you are trying to solve.

From time to time we all have problems that seem to take on a life of their own.  We try to solve them, but the solution doesn’t come easy.  We try harder to solve the problem, but the harder we try, the more we feel like we are getting no where.  This is feeling stuck.

When you feel stuck, follow these steps for optimal problem solving:

Stop – A really simple first step.  When you notice that you are “sinking,” stop struggling immediately.  You don’t want to sink any further.

Define the problem – This may seem unnecessary or a waste of time, but knowing exactly what the problem is helps us take the correct action.  Also, sometimes there is a problem behind the problem.  You need to know which one to work on first, but also which one is the “root” problem.

Focus on the present – Don’t worry about things that have already past, for instance, what you “should have done” to avoid the problem.  It may be true, but at this point, it’s not helpful to dwell on it.  Once you are unstuck, you can go back and reflect on patterns and behavior that lead to the problem, but in the heat of the moment, it’s not something to focus on.  If you are stuck in quicksand don’t worry about the wrong turn you took that lead you there, focus on getting out.

Focus on solutions – Focusing on solutions will lead you toward a solution.  Focusing on the problem will lead you back to the problem.  Solutions energize you.

What can I do next? – Every huge problem or task is simply a series of small steps.  Figure out which small step you need to take next.  Size honestly doesn’t matter here.  Even the smallest step forward will count.  Keep asking yourself “What can I do next?” until you are done.  Moving forward steadily (not necessarily quickly) will eventually get you to your solution.